Straight from Singapore

Ever had the feeling of 'belonging' to a place?? Well, throughout my childhood, this feeling shifted from place to place, but nonetheless, I guess most of the times, I was amazed to see my own feelings! At some point, a total stranger place started to feel 'homely' while at the very next moment, my own hometown seemed strange to me! Here my point of view! My migratory experiences are quite vast : Kolkata (1988 - 1998), Jamnagar (1998 - 2003), Al-Jubail (2003 - 2005), Kota (2005 - 2007), Kolkata (2007 - 2011), Bangalore (2011 - 2012) and finally, I landed my ass in Singapore (2012 - well...I do not know yet!). All I cam say is life's full of surprises. But hey, all this moving around did help me get friends from varied races and cultures, and on the overall, it felt good! But the point I am discussing here is the feeling of belonging! Kolkata - I really, do not know as to how I felt when I was too young, but all I can recollect are glimpses of certain events! On the whole, my life was centred around small family traditions, North Kolkata and my school and my baby brother! It was good! The idea of a new place seemed haunting, and on the day I was leaving Kolkata, as a simple kid I was back then, I cried my shit out! I did belong there, never wanting to leave! Jamnagar - This is the place I consider my upbringing in! I still remember the day we landed there! It was hot as hell, but nonetheless, I felt comfortable! Probably because of the 'Gujarati' standard of living, and most importantly, getting to know about the excitement about 'newness' and 'adjustment'! I did have troubles with hindi at first, but as the years flew by, I grew up to be a good, decent, slightly-inclined-towards-ladies-more kinda kid! And boy, did I enjoy the Reliance township! All in all, during those years, the 'belonging; got migrated to Jamnagar! Sad but true, I never wanted to return to Kolkata! I guess I belonged in Gujarat then! Hell I mean co'on, I had my first have-crush-then-propose experience with a girl back then! ;) ;) Al-Jubail - Me and my dad still talk about the first 2 months our last days in Jamnagar. When I learnt we were aboiut to leave for Saudi Arabia, the first thought that came to my mind - "Cool! International flight! Hell yeah!" But then, the thought of leaving my set school, current place, my friends, and most childishly, my first crush-then proposed-then flirting after rejection-finally about to say yes lady for good! Terrifies, I went on a cold was with my dad! To the verge of him quitting his job offer! But then, I do not know why, I simply said yes! And, after those words....the look on my dad's eyes is a feeling I know, at this age, understand! All in all...the beginning was cool! The ending cooler! A heaven for non-veg lovers, a place where you do not step a foot outside an AC domain, and most importanty...the tag of being an NRI.....Saudi Arabia rocked! My school rocked (apart from the fact that the strict governmental plan of not seeing and dating girls there!)! But somehow, I still felt inclined towards Jamnagar! I guess for the first time, my feelings for 'belonging' remained intact, even though the new place offered more, showered more courtesy! Was stranger, but true! Kota - Okay, this is one place which turned out to be the most ironical one! At the start, I prayed to God I get through the coaching classes entrances (having thought them literally to be the fist stepping stone towards IITs - as was said in their brochures!). Next, I did a get a separate room, and all other facilities, and once the classes started, it was hell!! Yes, I did learn to live all by myself during these years at Kota, but then again, the sheer pressure within the city left me suffocating! Starting from the morning juice shop vendor to the late night snack bar counter guy....everyone has a say about cracking into IITs! Amazing, but true! Friendless, enjoyment-less and most importantly, stressed out, I simply wanted to crack up any exam possible and get the hell outta here! So much so was the pressure, that on the day of leaving the city, I celebrated by allowing myself to enjoy the first cigarette of my life...thinking it to be the last! Sadly, that one turned out to be the foundation brick for an addiction tower! I definitely didn't belong at that place! Kolkata - There had been many instances in my past life, till now, wherein I was famous for a dialogue! So quoting - "I am the last person to go back to Kolkata and study!". Turned out, that did happen, and those happened to be the best years of my life! Cool college, ultracool friends, endless dates, my flirt-quality-manifestation, social interaction (mostly with the opposite gender), academic highs and lows, partying and everything a college life is supposed to be full of! Most importantly, I cam back to my hometown, this time shifting to a region more likable to me since childhood, and then meeting the girl of my dreams! Though that happened late, by the end of my college days, I was pissed (mostly because the college days were over) and also because of my academic propositional ventures! The latter didn't go to well.....but as I look back now, I guess these four wonderful years in Kolkata brought me closer to the city.....so much so, every holiday, the first destination that crops up is Kolkata! I guess I belong here more than ever before! Bangalore - Eye-opener, costly, professional exposure, South Indian lifestyle, earning docrine and position, and most importantly, still pissed off with my failed academic ventures! This was how I entered Bangalore! Though it was my last option, having decided to go there simply shattered my own image to myself and I hated myself for it! Though I met a lot of good people, had the most easy going job in the city, and have had the chance to show a year experience in my current CV, I still did not like any bit of the city! So much so, I ended up taking 7 trips to m hometime during the 12 months! Amazing, experiencing, thrilling, yet not appealing - this was Bangalore for me! Singapore - Finally, I am living my dream here in this city! Having completed just a month here, it feels like as if I am home - definitely minus mom's cooking, but nonetheless, I am loving it! A prospecting degree, which I inted to get smoothly, an international platform, amazing place and most importantly, the only place till now that is forcing me to quit smoking! I love it here! But then, along with the classes, the current assignments and the return of "Thermodynamics"! This is what is scaring the shit out of me now! But keeping that aside, I do not know why, but I feel that I definitely belong here! The reason I am posting about my childhood journey is because frankly, right now I do not have anything to do and I am sleepless! But then again, I suddenly remember this topic as a question once being asked to me by a good friend of mine! At that time, I didn;t have any proper answer, but I guess know I can comment of that! Life has taught me a lot of things! But there's one thing that's really worth bragging about - adjusting! It is tough, and it takes time! Some claim it to be easy, but come to think of the small events and happenings, that's when you decide as to where you belong! My bond with my hometown didn;t go well at the start, but my college and the people during that time brought it closer to me! The times in Kota, Bangalore were promising and demanding, but even though life was cool, it simply wasn't working for me! The times in Jamnagar, my second favourite place will always remain in memory! But I guess given an option to go back, I may think twice! I guess it's the place we connect to and the people we click with that make a region your home! You cannot create it, you cannot expect it, it simply happens! Right now, I belong in Singapore, and I am willing to work hard to keep it that way! :)

Wait for It!

I guess this phrase will forever be engraved in our memories....all thank's to the 'awesome' character of Barney Stinson! Even though I completed watching the entire series, this phrase is what I believe tends to bring me back to watching a few episodes now and then....even though how deteriorating and irritating the charactes of Ted, Marshall and Lily have become! Nonetheless....I guess I now realize the concept of 'Wait for it' in reality! Apply it....you may find the same! This note is like a product being released like after months! What's more saddening? It feels like it has been a decade! I may not go into the too explicit detailing of why and how such a feeling ever cropped in my mind, but the point is....I'm back! And I'm loving it! For more than a year....I have been acting strange! I stopped having fun! Kind of like a voluntary action with no reason at all! Starting off with last year, the effect of my 'expectations' from life has been so high....and so contradictory....that I always tended to ignore the current high-points in my life back then! So much so, I didn't even bother to look towards them! The effect's been strange, and sometimes I used to feel as though I really do not know who I am right now! But come to think of it, I guess now I can sit back and laugh at them all! Rather I would prefer learning from those instances! Ever feel like when you want something so badly, it tends to cloud other aspects in life? Well...I'm the live example! My educational ventures were so perfectly plannes out...that the moment one set back hit me, I simply lingered on from them! So much so, that current events like a perfect job, a great place to stay, my inception of the corporate life, the new people I met with...all seemed like average listings on charts! Now I must say that I've been lucky! I got to go back home to my sweetheart and friends and family a little less than 10 times last year! I had the chance to work in a truly awesome unit, in an other wise underestimated global MNC. I did get a core job...and the job timings...too good to describe! But I was unhappy! Unhappy for more than a year! And let me tell you...this did very much affect my own personality, in ways I never could imagine! My happy-go-lucky nature, which in todays hectic world seems a boon, faded! My enjoyment in writing vanished, and a simple note seemed to take hours to develop! So much so, I stopped planning out fun times! The effect was not only psychological! It was physical too! Imagine.....sitting at home....on weekends, holidays....you're too tired (an excuse for being unhappy) to go out....and you gorge on food and drinks simply to pass the time....droop on the couch/bed : the only thing you cane xpect is a massive 12 kg weight gain! And yes, this is my story! People do have times in their lives as to when some event of situation makes you realize the changes in you! For me, getting a chance to live in Singapore served that! After the offer and other technical stuff...I started realizing as to how my approaches may have changes over just the past year! And that was the time, I was shocked to see them! I may have wanted some changes in my life in some directions, but I have been living a pretty decent life till now! Appalling it maybe, but I guess my mentality wasn't just right enough to accept that fact! I did crave for more....but in an non-negotiable manner! I am indeed lucky, to have things fall in place for me, but due to my sheer over-focusing view, I simply missed it! I guess that time, my aim was to skip the present and see whether or not the future may at all have something related to my wishes! Ironically it did! And it took me an international flight trip, a simple excustion around the new campus and some free time in my room to realize the facts! Yes I may have had to bridge a gap between my degrees...but hell, I worked in an well renowned MNC with proper prospects and experience! Yes I may have had to face times of utmost frustrations regarding my educational ventures, but hell I did get an awesome year as a professional! I have had chances to explore myself, my domains and most importantly, I had the chance to be that earning guy for a year! And it did feel awesome, even at times I ended up asking dad for a bail-out! :P But the most important factor I feel is because this 'gap' may have been more for my sweetheart, than for myself! I may have had dreams and aspirations before meeting her, but she accepted me at a time when I was assuming myself to go away to a farther land for a longer time! For a girl like her, how difficult it may have been, I do not know! But I now consider that throughout this one year....we could develop our relationship for times when I'm actually away! The reason for my almost ten trips back home may have been her....but further more...it was for getting her accustomed to the way life treats you....and in the overall...the way we will be dealing with life together! And having had the chance to realize all of this with her, getting to know about separation and distances together....it does feel awesome to know that in some corner of the world...somebody is there whom you can call truly as your own! Consequently, I have made a vow for myself - never to allow situations get the best of me, but the other way round! This was my motto about 2 years back, but I got lost in touch with it over the times! But never again! Truly....never again! I guess now, having written down so may lines...it feels kinda good to be back! So guys....learn from my story as I have learned! You may have plans,...but hell life's does fuck with you! So better than worst, enjoy it and try to make it soothe rather than pinch, as I am doing now! For me, my dream of getting a global culture exposure in the educational domain did get fulfilled......I simply had to wait for it!